Archive for July, 2009

Letting Go, Emanations, Reflections (Part II)

Before I left the Moonies, a few things happened that were to become fairly relevant in my life. So much of my time there, particularly the last few months was a struggle of faith.  Everyone around me seemed so solid in their faith and were sure they had the answers and all I had were questions I could barely formulate. For the first time in my life I believed that God existed and that there was a purpose to it all but surely it had more to do than trying to make up for sins that our ancestors had done. Sensing my doubts, the people who were the leaders of the branch of the church had me stay at their training camp in the Nappa Valley. They figured that being trained constantly would be a good influence on my behaviour. Perhaps it was.

So one day I was with a group that consisted of myself, Dorie, our group leader for the week and a bunch of new recruits, there for their 21 days of training and indoctrination. One of the latter was an older woman, named Myrtle, her grandkids had joined the church and she was checking it out and trying to understand what it was all about. We were going on a group hike to discuss the lecture that we had just heard. I was probably at my lowest ebb. Depressed and trying to inspire, it felt more than a little schizophrenic . Myrtle was a charming woman with a warm smile and large amounts of empathy.

As we walked up the hill, Myrtle holding onto my arm for balance, I found myself praying “God, Heavenly father, please give me an answer.” All of a sudden, I felt the sun on me. I became aware of everything around me, every flower, every tree, every blade of grass and I felt that I fit and that it was right. Not that I fit where I was but that I fit wherever I was. I was right and everything was right. I existed as part of everything and that I was loved. Not as a Moonie but as myself. That moment seemed to go on forever and yet only last a second. I found that I couldn’t explain what had happened to anybody else there, even Myrtle. To be more accurate, I doubt that anyone even noticed and yet for me the effect was profound. I believe that this experience helped give me the courage to leave when I felt it was time. In all the years to come, the quest for that feeling has taken me many places both internally and externally.

Tarot Haiku-Queen of Pentacles

Lady of the maize

Everything is born from you

Centered Creation

Queen of Pentacles

Video of the Day

Part of the Plan-Dan Fogleberg



This song has been a favorite since I was a teenager.

Kitts Beach Fireworks

Here for the fireworks. I’m hoping to get footage for a new video tomorrow. Zev and his friend Ben are playing in the playground. The sun is shining brightly on the water. There is still another 2 and a half hours before the sky alights. Families of all stripes and nationalities are walking around.  All that’s needed is a modern day George Seurat to paint us all point by point.

When I lived in the states, I used to associate fireworks with the military. The sky lighting up was a some kind of twisted remembrance of the bombshells bursting in the air that the Star-Spangled Banner celebrates. I had a hard time relating to people being so fascinated by war. I was somewhat  surprised when I moved to the relatively more peaceful Canada, that people enjoy their fireworks here,  as much if not even more than they do in the states.  If not war, what were they celebrating. Then I realized, watching it that it was the shared experience of light bursting through the darkness. “OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh, AAAAAAAAHhhhhh” Parents, Kids, seniors, the complete spectrum of human endeavor all gathered together to watch beauty come out of nothing. Accompanying fireworks here is not explosions but classical and jazz music, a feast for the ears as well as the eyes. All in all pretty stiring.

Before the fireworks...

Beach at sunset...

Tarot Haiku-Queen of Wands

Passionate Goddess

whose strength eases troubled souls

TAKE me to new heights

Queen of Wands

Video of the Day & Random Thought

Opening Credits from John From CincinnatiJohnny Appleseed by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros

Does anything lie outside our reach? We truly live in a world where all things are possible.

Tarot Haiku-Knight of Wands

Burning to create

His passion fueled by new thought

The eternal quest

Knight of Wands